


Jump

by YazzytheKitten



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Cutting, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, suicide prevention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 21:26:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14529504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YazzytheKitten/pseuds/YazzytheKitten
Summary: Dear Universe,To everyone who believed in me, I apologize profusely.You didn't deserve seeing me in turmoil. You didn't deserve to be affected by my negativity. It hurt me even more, knowing what I put you through. The way you looked at me-afraid, helpless, hopeless. The way I stared back into your eyes, defeated.Don't be angry because this was nothing personal. For once, I finished something I started. I love all of you, and I hope I won't see you soon.Goodbye.-Ciana1 Month. That's all the time Ciana gave herself to live after her sister's death. She would live in those 30 days and on the last day she would climb to the highest peak in Hollandi and take the plunge just as her sister did. But what happens when there's someone that isn't ready to let her go yet, find out in Jump.





	1. Day 1

Ciana's P.o.v 

I sit at my window and stare at the night sky. I still remember just how much you had loved it; you would look at it every night and count the stars, telling each one of your days, then you'd do a little wave at the moon just before falling asleep at your desk. With you gone, the job was left up to me just like many other things. Sometimes I find myself talking to the moon just as you once did, I beg and plead with it for you to come back. I awake everyday hoping you're still here and I just had a bad dream.I wish you would've just talked to me, we could've fixed things together. It's too late now anyway.


	2. Day 2

You push and you pushed and I pulled away. I should've pushed back but what good would that have done. You never talked to me anyway. You were a dead girl walking and I didn't notice. All I think about is where I went wrong.

*Monday(At school)*

I was running to class, per usual. I couldn't seem to get to school on time for the life of me, even when you were here. It always took me nearly an hour to get ready, and I got up at 6 despite knowing that I'd only have 30 minutes to get ready. I mean a girl does need her beauty sleep, even when she's not pretty. Not like I need to get uglier, but that's beside the point. I remember you once told me to have pride and dignity in everything I do. I was running papers flying out my hands, curly hair wild and crazy. I nearly ran into a door from my loss of eyesight (I can thank the hair), good thing I didn't because that would've hurt. On a totally related note, I ran into a boy, walking out of my homeroom. I was so clumsy that not only had I knocked me and the boy on the floor but also all of his and my own stuff. I frantically picked up his stuff, apologizing and cursing under my breath. Surprisingly enough he helped me pick up everything and helped me off the floor, giving me a small smile before walking around me and out the door. I smoothed my clothes down as best as I could before finally walking to my seat and sitting down. So about what I said earlier about pride and dignity, I think now is a good time to mention I never had either, to begin with. 

I sat at my desk, hands in my hair, trying hard to tame the crazy beast, before giving up in defeat. Tapping my pencil lightly on my desk as my mind started to wander off into space, I dreamt of delicious food and a day where I wouldn't have to run to class. I was so into it that I hadn't noticed the quiet "Hi" from the boy in front of me. In fact, I was so lost in space that he had to tap my shoulder to awake me from my daydream. I looked up at him, eyebrow raised, why did he want to talk to me I was nobody special? "Hi," I responded quickly. He smiled again, and for a moment he was lost in space too, he shook his head shaking away what I assumed was a thought. "Mind if I sit here," he asked me nervously. I shook my head no, and he quickly slid into the seat next to me, " I'm Grayson, by the way, I'm new here." "Ciana," I replied hoping he'd shut up. I mean not in an offensive way, I just wasn't much of a talker. I was always the quiet one in class, the one that always sat in the back, the one you never noticed and I would hate it if you did. I always did hate attention, even growing up as a child I liked to be left alone. it wasn't because I was an introvert or simply because I was weird. I just liked having space and I found that attention would cause me to have the worst anxiety. I would break into hives, my breathing would become ragged and my body would shut down on me. It would be what I called the perfect panic attack, I didn't enjoy them but I had them often enough to be used to them and know when one was coming. I called them perfect because no one would be able to break me out of it, my body would simply have to do that on its own and who knows how long that could take. It could last five minutes, or thirty or an hour or a day. It was so bad that around the age of six up until I was 14 the doctor announced that I had severe clinical anxiety. I'm sixteen and while they stopped coming as much, I still do get them. Over the years they've gotten slightly better due to medication and some therapy, but they never completely leave. The doctors never could figure out what causes it, despite me telling them attention. It seems my simple answer wasn't something their degree could handle.


End file.
